Tom was camping with some friends in Illinois and they were all getting drunk in the camp. Tom had caught a huge snapping turtle that night on the way back to camp from the bar. He was carrying the turtle and somebody told him to put the turtle donw because they have long necks and can bite. He said, "Oh he wouldn't hurt anybody" then leaned over and kissed the turtle on the back of the head. The guy was astounded and said "Hey everybody, Tom just kissed that turtle on the head!" Lots of laughing ensued but some didn't believe him...So Tom being drunk decided he would prove it again. He kissed the turtle and this time IT KISSED BACK! He had to pull his lip away and had a huge indention and gash where the turtle had caught hold.
Moral of the story: Don't go kissing snapping turtles, their bite is worse than their bark.