Jimmy Johnson wannabe

Tom and I went deer hunting near Burnet Texas for several years. We would leave early sometimes and stop at the bar on the way to the deer lease. The roads leading to the lease were treacherous with curves, cattle guards and gates. As most people know, Tom has a penchant for driving too fast. He had his license suspended for a year for getting 23 speeding tickets in one year. They busted him as a "habitual violator". At the time he drove a '79 Chevy dually extended cab pickup with a monster 454 motor that ran like a scalded dog. So on the way to the lease we stop at the bar for a few rounds. One thing leads to another and we were there until closing time. Tom asks for one for the road and says "let's go!" So here we are, both drunk as skunks and heading to the lease. He's driving with his knees, smoking a cigarette, holding his drink and doing 75 mph on curvy dirt roads. The cattle guards had less than six inches clearance and he's jumping through them doing over 70. We got there without a scratch but it sure was a scary ride.