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I'm glad to say that the old man made it to see his seventy seventh birthday! He's not feeling very well today, just has a persistent cough as usual. Anyway, Happy Birthday to the best Dad ever!

Chaw time

Back when Tom was about 12 years old, he got the bright idea to cut a piece of chewing tobacco from a block of his Grandpa's tobacco. He grabbed it and ran outside down to the neighbors house to hide out in the tree in their front yard. Tom had a big wad of chew and as he kept chewing on it the dizzier and sicker he got. He got so dizzy that he wasn't able to climb down out of the tree. Instead of attempting to climb down he just fell out of the tree onto the street below, breaking his arm in the process. He laid there until a car came by and helped him home. While he was at the hospital getting his arm set Grandpa showed up with a new full plug of chewing tobacco. Grandpa told him, "you don't have to steal chewing tobacco from me..I'll buy you all you want!" Tom looked up and told Grandpa, "I'll never stick that stuff in my mouth again!"

More hunting humor

During deer season up around Burnet Tx. I was about 15 years old and thought I was pretty tough. We would sometimes have a break during the day. Dad always wanted to pursue the ever elusive whitetail deer, during midday he decided that we should go out and walk the property and maybe find a deer or three. We're walking along and Dad suggested that I circle out around a large area and walk back through making noise and possibly scaring some deer out toward where he was waiting. Being the stupid son that I was...I said "Sure thing Dad!" I leaned my rifle against a fence and off I went trudging through the briars and cedar trees.
While I was on my trek I saw movement just over a big log. I wasn't sure what it was but I thought it was a wild turkey. I was pretty adventurous and thought that I could possibly catch it. So I crept up slowly toward the log crouching down so I wouldn't be seen. I pounced over the log to grab a big Tom turkey. I actually caught the turkey with my bare hands but I didn't have a very good hold on him. I had one hand on his neck and the other wrapped around his body trying to grab his feet, but his right wing was loose and free to move. That turkey nearly beat me to death trying to escape! I wrestled with it for what seemed like an eternity as it beat the hell out of my face, scratching and clawing the whole time. I finally turned loose and that bird flew straight up until I could barely see it...then it turned and flew to another hillside.
I finished my walk around the area and got back to Dad. He said, "I never saw a deer but a turkey flew farther than I've ever seen!" I explained what happened and showed him the scratches and bruises from my encounter with the baddest bird I had ever tried to tackle. He laughed his ass off and said that if I had been successful in catching that bird, he would have seen to it that I made the cover of Field & Stream magazine. If you ever run across a turkey in the wild, my suggestion is to leave it the hell alone!